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| one thing we can definitely expect......HONESTY |
In reality,
it is so refreshing to see many of our children actually being able to have a
voice and to express verbally their own feelings and thoughts, although all too
often their display of 'the truth' will be misunderstood by others.
As our kids
struggle to understand the expected 'social niceties' or 'specifics of
expression', especially when they're still struggling with the basics of
correct verbal communication, the results are negative reactions from others
hearing/reading the words or comments!
To these kids
a spade is a spade, so why call it a shovel or scoop?
Finding
different ways to help can be a long time-consuming, repetitive process,
and then as
they get older it becomes harder for the outside world to accept their
behaviour, especially when facing a pre-teen or teenage child, knowing that
normally a child of this age should have control over their own emotions,
reactions, behaviour, and body sensory expression.
Saying that,
it doesn't give anyone the right to shut them off, or brush aside their
opinions and input with anything they encounter.
Don't turn
your back on them, they too have the right to fit into society, to gain their
own reason for existing, and to be comfortable being involved in anything they
choose to commit to, without stifling their personality and their right to
express themselves their own way,
With focus
assistance and dedication, the end result is usually a positive one with
benefits beyond belief.
I understand
how others can get totally frustrated watching their kids trying hard to
comprehend societies expectations, or determining what their child is
trying/wanting to say or do,
.........when
in reality we are the ones that are struggling to comprehend their uniqueness.
Problem
solving.....rational thinking...
Faced with a
situation, or as in this sample case, a worksheet example from a school class.
Our kids have
their own clear and simple picture of what they are involved in, at any given
time, what is happening and what 'they' see as a solution to any given problem
or issue.
Once their
mind is set and they are focused on what they believe to be the resolution,
'NOTHING' can
or will change their mindset.
Without
providing sample options and clear concise instruction, laying out all the
possibilities or probabilities required with the situation (or question) in
simple terms, they will misinterpret what is expected.
For example,
if reading the vague points at the beginning of a worksheet, prior to a set of
questions,
with each
separate question not giving any specific descriptions, any child may believe
he/she must provide answers to each question while covering responses to 'all'
points originally mentioned.
Looking at
the responses provided by the child, 'technically' all questions were answered
correctly, although, having to make the assumptions and decisions of specifics,
and due to forward thinking and honesty, the answers were interpreted as
"inappropriate"
Thus proving
the struggles the children have to correctly break down or 'assume' what the
necessities are, and what the teacher believes and expects to be an appropriate
answer.
"Inappropriate" what does that really mean -
Unsuitable,
unfitting, improper, wrong, amiss, unbecoming, undesirable, misguided,
.........just
to name a few.
When relating
this to an autistic child that doesn't understand expressive or receptive
language, while still struggling with certain aspects of social conversation,
and even more-so transferring their verbal or thought process into written
text,
they also
hear different words, comments, terminologies, surrounding them in everyday
life, and then try to use the content when it seems right, while it may fit
into the flow of the comments and conversations, the reality is they have no
idea that they shouldn't be using it, they are honest and truthful, and haven't
learnt as others have, when and where they can behave in different ways,
add to that
an extreme 'social content' while using personal interpretation and expression
and we have a recipe for disaster.
So who's
fault was it that the responses were inappropriate?
Why wasn't
the teacher aware of the possibility of misinterpretation?
Where was the
support to help process the question sheets?
Simple
actions to an issue that in itself is trivial, avoidable, and easily resolved.
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