Life's hurdles…………….

I can't believe we've almost come to the middle of yet another year, it's passed by so quickly I'm surprised I'm still standing.

So much has happened and yet it all seems like a blur.

After a hectic couple of months, I've finally made it out for some fresh air to collect my thoughts.

Grasping the reality of everything,  processing how I will manage from here.

There is no tried and true formula for anyone going through the loss of a family member,

There is no time frame for this, we need to take a step back, breathe, and allow ourselves the time we need.

I was very lucky to have had the chance to make the most of what time we had,

living close by we were able to spend any spare moment together, always connecting in one way or another.

Now, helping mum prepare for her next phase, all her children rallying to support her,

ready with a schedule of sorts, to be there whenever and however she needs us.

Looking forward, so much has consumed us all and our emotional roller-coaster has finally taken its toll,

This unexpected process has caused mayhem for A.J. and unfortunately his coping mechanism has gone from completely stable to non-existent.

We now have to allow time to comprehend the enormity of what this means for him, understanding

What parts to help him understand

What parts will be too hard to grasp 

What parts to be left out for later

He knows his Pop won't be there anymore, but what does that process mean to him.

On the Educational front he is struggling and unable to stabilise his emotions.

Not coping in many areas, he has become a swirling vortex spiraling further out of control.

After days of extreme highs and lows, I finally saw the string unravelling ready to snap.

Knowing his recent emotional escalation began again shortly after my father passed away,

Now watching a repeat formation of mood swings as happened years ago,

his strict fine-tuned routine came crashing down when unexpected unplanned changes occurred.

Again the changes, in short concession, resulting from his home and school routine being totally out of order.

Turmoil, an identity crisis, thinking he is unable to feel emotions as others do, and yet in reality he feels 'too much'.

Crisis can occur at any moment in any form,

after finally getting over the hurdles life throws at us, to have another set of struggles and issues confronting us instead.

Why? Just why!!!

We start again…. Stop. Breathe. Take a step back. Regroup, Process, and Formulate a Plan.