It's usual by
the end of each school term to find A.J. struggling to maintain his composure
and balanced momentum.
Noticing also
over the past few weeks A.J. had gone backwards dramatically in his morning
routine, we've been trying a few ideas to make his evening, morning, and sleep
schedules a little easier.
As his
parents, knowing how he hits these uncontrollable roller-coaster of emotional
highs and lows when least expected, we try to remain calm to stabilize his
emotions.
Struggling to
push through the bumps and hurdles, it is beneficial to know he has that
stability within his home environment, as a safe place when all else fails.
That being
said, we are human, we can only take so much, therefore it's understandable we
can become strained and frazzled from the emotional mayhem.
Along with
this A.J. has what we can only call the holiday blues, when there is little to
no routine or activities to keep him stimulated and on the go,
even when
planning out the day we can still face the odd hick-ups.
With
emotional imbalance seeing him refusing to participate,
thus becoming
another issue to manage.
How do we
cope with all this???
So it goes
like this...
While A.J.
has a determination and ability to do so much and a focus to match in most
cases,
He is also
restricted at times by his anxiety disorder, struggling to maintain calm and
focus when he needs it the most.
We need to
understand what that actually means for him and become observant to any changes
in moods and mannerisms as pre-warning signs.
We need to be
mindful to the fact he is not doing this to us, it is happening to him.
He doesn't
like this situation any more than we do.
Staying calm
and following his lead, but also teaching him to know and understand what to
do, he needs to know when things aren't acceptable and to find an alternate
'outlet' to his frustrations can also help.
In most cases
he has recognised the early warning signs and prefers to withdraw and isolate
himself, he will revert into his safety zone, his room.
This has been
a process for many years, needing the one place he knows he is safe and
protected.
I will NEVER
take that away from him, no matter what!
The next
thing to factor in.....
although his
chronological age is 16
His social
age is still about 13/14
His emotional
age is about 12
Those are the
most important details to remember.
I have learnt
over time, what matters and what doesn't, and how best to choose your battles.
Focusing on the things that will need changing,
and letting
go of the things that won't matter in 2/5/10 years time.
I have taken
this process into many areas of my life
If it is
important and I can change something that effects me and those around me, then
working on it can be beneficial.
If it doesn't
effect us directly then 'let it go'.
Simple
Life is too
short to stress the small stuff
Take the time
to be there for your family and those who matter, be in the moment,
make it
worthwhile.
Make memories
together.
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