“I am really confused!” What is your preference and does it 'really' matter.

Firstly before I address this very touchy topic, I would like to acknowledge and confirm that I am stating this topic on a purely need-to-know and understand basis;

I have not done so to insult, target, or degrade anyone in any way, and if anyone may feel I have done so, then I apologise as that was not my intention.

I now know, as so many state, “I am a Neurotypical”,

and then I will follow by saying, - with an “Autistic grandson”;

although I have also stated, “I have a grandson with Autism”,

-or Autism Spectrum Disorder, and other diagnosed 'labels' i.e.- “Aspie”.

Yes at the end of the day these are all definitions of society's stated LABELS!

While we all acknowledge and agree that a diagnosis carries a label, and face many different label options in regards to -their condition, disorder, diagnosis, all used to associate with or disassociate from different aspects of the diagnosis or the person;

although some may not like to use them, we still need it as a part of the medical process.

Then when speaking in a socially acceptable sense we face the area of specific Labelling and Acknowledgement, finding ourselves addressing the grey area of what some may state “we are saying it wrong”, especially when each person having their own opinion, feels that their way is the right way.

Adults will state their preference, when personally speaking, with the option of-

“I'm Autistic” or “I have Autism”

I personally feel that there really is no RIGHT or WRONG way, as like every areas in life, we are all entitled to our own opinion.

I'm stating these simply as I hear the comments - “person first” or “label first”,

identity is important, or the label is a part of who 'they' are;

something to define the person or to segregate their diagnosis from their identity

Would we worry about a person saying-

“you have brown hair” or “you're brown-haired”

“the brown-haired lady” or “the lady with brown hair”

All these comments still tell others that this person's hair is brown, simple.

Their hair is a part of their chemical make-up, a part of who they are, that doesn't change regardless of how we word it.

It is no different than having a parent give their child a specific name and then seeing others abbreviating or choosing a nick-name instead!

Some parent's are OK with that, others are offended, but it doesn't change the way those people feel about or treat that person, or how the person is portrayed to others.

“I like Christopher because of his name” - “I’m not sure of that guy called Chris”

I know some may say to me, as I'm only a Neurotypical or a person without a diagnosis; I haven't the right to weigh in on this debate, although as a carer/guardian of a grandson with a diagnosis, handling everything that goes along with it, then I should be able to have a say.

I feel the emphasis should be more on the understanding of his issues and assisting to guide him through any day-to-day situations and eventually being able to head into adulthood, rather than what and how to label him.

I especially feel that acceptance of the person as a whole is priority.

We should always respect each individuals personal preference when addressing them individually, and I definitely would and do. at any time of connection.

Although the final response should always be, stop worrying about these silly little things; be respectful and accepting of others and all that they are; and truly enjoy your life for the best you can make of it.

Love and Happiness to all xxxx