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| A.J. taking time out after his busy school schedule |
Finding and solving the smallest of issues, can make
the biggest impact on our daily routine.
All children cope better when they have clear
concise guidelines with structured routines and boundaries. Having specifically
laid-out expectations simplifies everything for them and makes it easier to
handle. If there are no rules or they are constantly changing, it is hard to
anticipate what is required and causes more confusion.
Part of this structure is also focusing on the
positives, rewarding good choices and behaviour, and being consistent with everything.
Giving clear explanations to why and how things are
needed takes away stress and worry they may be doing things wrong or different
to what is requested.
If they aren't coping, or they become distressed,
then allow a time-out or break before things become uncontrollable, then come
back when settled to try again.
After setting out all this, our little ones can still
struggle with day-to-day issues, little things, that to us are not even a
passing concern, although can be the reason for a major meltdown, and can cause
us as the on-looker to be left wondering what happened and why.
One such example happened with a family member from
our group, their daughter has been struggling with ‘school day starting’ issues,
and when her mum had the chance to vent with the group we came up with a few
suggestions and a possible outcome, while trying to pinpoint the real issue
causing the meltdowns.
Beginning the daily routines for any family can
be such a “rush-rush” situation, and as most of us will agree this is a
no-go-zone with our little ones.
Finding the right mix to keep the anxiety levels
down will be the biggest struggle and one we as parents don’t take lightly, so
any assistance to gain the calm needed to get through any stressful situations
is a must.
Although overall, the basic routine for this
person hasn’t changed, the added responsibilities and a bigger study workload
expected at school and home-study time has resulted in later nights. Struggling
with sleep has caused the outcome impacting on her morning schedule.
When realising the daily morning ritual was
becoming too much, one suggestion we discussed with this particular family was
to slow things down and arrange a “late start” to give time to settle into
changes.
Discussions with ‘all parties’ involved to
assure this is a do-able resolution and to also assure the child that
‘everyone’ is on-board with what is required to achieve a positive outcome.
Knowing myself how A.J. can be, when needing to
be so precise with his daily ‘ritual’.
Wake up and medication – time to wake properly -
breakfast - wash face and clean teeth - get dressed - holds out brush for me to
do his hair - waits for me to make lunch then packs his school bag – finally
having time on a game while waiting to go to school.
If this routine isn't able to be done in that
exact precise order at the exact precise time frame and in the exact same way,
he will begin to pace around the house, again in an exact manner and sequence until
the process has been done.
The simple fact that a routine may be broken for
any reason can set this off, including the onset of illness.
We noticed this last weekend, when for no reason
A.J. began pacing around the kitchen where I was trying to work, finding him
behind me every time I turned to do something.
I asked, “A.J. is something wrong?”
He replied “No”
I responded with “then why are you following me
around like a shadow?”
A.J. stated “Oh I don’t know I just needed to be
near someone…”
Me, “do you want me to do something with you?”
A.J. “No! I just thought if I’m near you I can
share my knowledge and wisdom with you if you needed it”
After following me for another hour without
knowing why, he then became over-emotional, struggling to explain how he was
feeling, stating he felt ‘yucky’ all over, realising by now he had a
temperature and that was causing the confusion, then without understanding his
physical changes he burst into tears and stated “I don’t like the way my body
feels” after calming him down he snuggled up on the lounge and fell asleep,
which ‘never’ happens.
Sensory Sensitivities are the most noted cause
of symptoms affecting our autistic kids, which can then inhibit their daily
lives. The only thing we can do is be calm and patient until the pieces fall
together to give the clues to what is happening and how we can help them.
Contemplating the extent of different situations
our children are facing, for the simple fact that not enough is known by others
about why they do certain things and how to help.
Seeing the results when ignorance has teachers
and carers do unimaginable things to our children all for the sake of them not
wanting to deal with an ‘issue’.
A child in a cage, other children duct taped to
chairs, and WHY????
Being ignored when requesting assistance, or being
brushed aside when trying to get help from people in authority after being
bullied by other students.
Knowing how frustrating things can get when you
truly don’t know how to help our kids, but these types of actions are
unacceptable.
The public perception of Autism, as being “just
another fad diagnosis” and other deplorable comments, all add to the
frustration of the unknown.
We shouldn't be made feel ashamed and
embarrassed by our kids because others won’t accept difference.
Needing a little extra time to figure things
out, asking to repeat a request, gaining a different explanation using a
different description, or understanding the workload is overwhelming.
Maybe the environment is too noisy, too crowded,
too cluttered.
These issues can be difficult for any child at
times, so why can’t consideration be the criteria for anyone caring for our
children, or any child.
Step-by-Step through patience and direction we
can open the pathway to understanding and acceptance of all differences and behaviours.
If one option doesn’t work, it doesn’t mean a
fail, as long as another option is offered for the chance to try again.
Don't let anyone give up on our children, they are the future and they deserve to be heard.
We must never give up fighting for their rights, stand strong and if you think something isn't quite right keep pushing until your requests are met.
For support and direction connect with us on facebook email or at our local Support group
we are here to help you help your children.....
Lithgow Nanna's Touch ASD Support - go to the links on the home page
Happiness and Calm to all xxxx
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