 |
| business cards and advertising poster |
My ‘passion’ is connected with my ‘compassion’ for
others……
I have always had an unintentional need to help
others in any simple way I can, regardless of the fact that my family and I
personally have very little, I still seem to be drawn to those in need.
With this in mind it never surprised my family
or friends to see me find a ‘need’ to connect to.
From the time I gained care of our grandson, I
gave 100% time and effort into helping A.J. with the delays and struggles he
was presented with, and then after learning of his diagnosis, I fell into the
passion of researching anything and everything that will help him in the best
way possible.
This was when I realised our community needed a support
service to provide help for all the parents, carers, etc; a way of linking
together to help each other, with support, sharing stories-hints-ideas, with
understanding-direction-assistance, to link with the correct available services,
and so much more; but mostly just to know that someone else understands, cares,
and wants to help.
I don’t share awareness of Autism to state any
negativity or fear-mongering that so many wrongly portray, but to highlight the beauty of these precious
souls.
I am not looking for the “pieces” to link
something missing, but to truly understand and share how everyone’s differences are important in many ways.
These children (people) are not evil, brats, spoilt,
or missing!
They do not need to be eliminated, eradicated,
‘cured’, or disciplined!
They ‘do’ need love, understanding, caring,
patience, guidance, and more, from and by everyone they come in connection
with.
We are all different; we all have something different
to offer.
In another place and time their differences
could be the link needed to survive.
Do not judge in fear of what is unknown!
Over the generations of time, we as a race, have
evolved our looks, behavior, mannerisms, ability, all our changes are to become
what is needed to exist……it is called EVOLUTION……
What if “AUTISM” is a part of our next
transformation phase, to enable the human race to continue our existence???……Just
a thought……!!!!!!
We need to look at our children differently, starting
with the first fact that is so evident
…………they are BORN with a different ABILITY…………
Next is the acknowledgement to their process of
existing around routines and the need for regularity in their lifestyle, some
may be steadfast in their ritualistic process of must do’s.
This is a good thing, for so many reasons
Although “change” for our kids is the most
difficult area for others to handle, finding ways to help them adjust shouldn't be and isn't a difficult process to do.
If we go back to the beginning, as to when we
first realised (or maybe you are just at this step now), noticing your child showing
differences in meeting or progressing through the supposed expected age-appropriate
stages and milestones.
The first thing to do is stop and take a breath,
step back, and remember first and foremost that ‘every’ child is different;
even in our “neurotypical world” we all progress at different levels, at
different ages, in different ways.
We put too much emphasis on a time limit; this
doesn’t have to be the case.
Our achievements are different, and even the
all-rounded well-educated person at some stage in their life faced some type of
struggle.
To take the first steps, regardless of the age
of your child, when noticing “something may be different”….I won’t say ‘wrong’
as there is no true Right or Wrong when we come to this, and with every story
being different it is more-so the fact.
To give one experience on this outlook I will
take you back to our beginnings……
The day our grandson came to live with us…… he was
almost 3 years old…… with most at this age being toilet trained, eating a substantial
broad variety of solid dietary intake, having a reasonable vocabulary for
communication…… our little man had none of these!!
He consistently cried…and screamed and then
screamed some more…he didn’t sleep…he panicked about everything…he didn’t use
words…he didn’t eat anything substantial…he wasn’t toilet trained…and the list
went on…
Our story was different than most, as we were
faced with A.J.’s reality of his neglect and more…
…I was devastated for him…
I thought he was deaf, as he had no response to
words, we couldn’t hug him…as he flinched with each touch…although he wouldn't leave our side; it was all so confusing!!!
Helpless as to what I could do, although knowing
something had to be done, I had to start somewhere.
Then the first of many assessments were
done, with the outcome being “socially delayed”; we would have to wait another
4 years to get a complete and total understanding to his disability….
Starting with…….Early Developmental/Environmental History Trauma;
(For those recently connected to our blog or page,
the list below tells the story I previously shared.) ……………as with most assessments
they go through the step-by-step process…..
Firstly -Pervasive
Developmental Disorder- not otherwise specified;
Then
-Aspergers;
Finally it
was officially signed off as “Autism
Spectrum Disorder”
Additional
traits included with his diagnosis included….
Receptive
and Expressive Language Disorders;
A.D.H.D.
(combined type);
Sensory
Processing Disorder;
Generalised
Anxiety Disorder;
Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder;
Adding to his medical conditions are the diagnoses
of……
’Lumbar Spinal Scoliosis’
Vision impairment- ‘Inflexible Focusing
Mechanism’ and ‘long sighted’.
As you can see, when written on paper and handed
to us it was an ‘OMG’ moment!!!!
Now to step back in time, to the first
assessment, “Socially Delayed”
We chose to look at the positives, believing
with time and help from us we would bring him closer to what most perceive as
“normal”
I began by sitting on the floor with bags of
flash cards, jigsaw puzzles, blocks, Lego, and anything else I could find.
Face-to-face we spent our time, chatting and showing him different pictures,
words, games, and more.
With each step I would ask A.J. to look at me, as
I spoke slowly any words explaining each verbal or physical action, and then
asking him to repeat the process back to me as I had shown him. Remembering, I
had no expectations, as we had no diagnosis, just a deep love and determination
to show A.J. what was possible.
I had no time limit no order of events, anything
that was accessible that I could use to hopefully get through to him, and then
slowly he began to respond with actions… then words… and more.
Nowadays there are extensive programs and
therapies that are available to do all this, although my belief that a families
love can provide this as I did, with the same results, and a lot less
financially.
Never stop believing that the best is possible,
and although some achievements in different areas may not be totally reached,
depending on your child’s personal diagnosis, any progress is a great result.
I will be honest and say we had a roller-coaster
of regression and progress along the way, although with no time frame
expectation, I believe you will definitely notice a gain in some aspect; we are
continually surprised and amazed when A.J. reaches another milestone, it’s not
‘when’ they do things, but the ability to be able to accomplish any little
feat.
Proud moments are always treasured.
With the progress of our support group, facebook
page, website and blog, I am always hopeful that one thing may give someone
direction understanding and hope that they too can find the piece to keep going
forward.
I will continue to be there for anyone that
needs support of any type, contact me and I will help however possible.
Happiness and Calm to all xxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment