Clearing your emotional clutter.

gaining personal confidence is the first step
- picture of me while doing one of our group activities -  

Just as it is therapeutic to clear our home of physical clutter we collect along our life's journey,

we also need to clear our minds of the emotional “Baggage” that we may accumulate over the years.

For me, over the years, I have fought with the concept of what it is to be emotionally balanced,

as I would always become stressed about the perception that others may have of me.

This thought process would stop me from doing many things I would have loved to have attempted throughout my life for fear of being judged and criticised for not conforming to the 'masses', so to speak, or doing what may have been seen to be 'politically incorrect'.

Many of these judgements began during my school years, children can be very cruel at times,

I never had the chance to hang out with the 'cool kids'.

So I was looked down upon if it looked like I was imitating them because I wanted to try something similar to what they were 'into', or if I was doing anything different then I was strange or weird.

I never felt good enough, so it was easier to not try at all.

Many times in my life I felt uncomfortable and uneasy about stepping into the unknown, whether it was sports, academic, or social, so I subconsciously began to withdraw and never attempted to show my fullest potential.

As an adult I was shunned again as I began my life in an unconventional order, starting my family  early when most of my friends and peers were still at university or stepping into amazing careers.

So I found it easier to step away from the spotlight and isolate myself from their prying eyes.

I dedicated my life to my family, raising my kids and giving them positive encouragement to step out and be who they wanted to be.

At different times I would decide to volunteer my time and knowledge, helping assist in areas our kids were connected with, at school canteen or P&C committees, sporting fundraising committees, social activities events, etc.

Unfortunately I faced many situations where I was being taken advantage of for my kind and generous nature, only to then be shunned when my 'purpose' had ended, thus pulling me back into the darkness 'yet again', withdrawing and wondering what was wrong with me, that others couldn't see me as a person, rather than what they could take from me, and then turn their backs on me yet again.

It wasn't until I gained custody of A.J. when I felt a passion to share with others the knowledge I was gaining, and yet I still hesitated due to the fear of being rejected as someone that - "didn't know what she was talking about".

I began by sharing my story and knowledge on-line, with the safety of anonymity, 

soon friends would say to take it further and start a local support group.

The fear of failure was overwhelming, yet I somehow gained the courage to take a leap of faith.

By shutting off the 'what ifs' and pushing past all the negativity I had allowed to consume my life.

That was in early 2013,

and I am so grateful for the opportunity I have to 'pay it forward' in so many ways.

I have gained so much and met so many lovely people, and I am still pushing the boundaries of confidence and stepping into areas I would never have attempted to try.

I'm not going to say it was/is easy, because at times I can still feel the tinge of doubt and the fear of how I am perceived. I am still confronted by those who want to take advantage of what I offer.

But I have held my head high and pushed past the negativity, reminding myself that those actions show the mannerisms and aptitude of those people,

and doesn't at all reflect on the personality of who I am.

I have often helped others to understand that although we can continuously become confronted by those who wish to put us down, take advantage of our generosity, or generally be negative to our actions in life,

we should always remind ourselves it is not a reflection of who we are, but who they are.

we always need to remind ourselves....."Our lives are important and we do matter."

Happiness and Calm to all xxxx