Preparing for a new year.

(chapter 3)…

Having dealt with so much uncertainty so far, we were sideswiped again when A.J. was suddenly faced with a series of personal issues, the first being the interfering, confrontational attitude and statements from his mother, while he was still having minimal access with her she constantly undermined all the progress we were making, this time she had stated to him - “I am going to take you far, far away and never coming back and you’ll never see anyone again, just me!”
We immediately arranged for changes with access to assure A.J. had nothing to worry about although the effects were already immerging.
When starting the new school year, taking the big step into grade 3, his first primary year, he faced the concept of Bullying for the first time.



During this time his routine at home was disrupted, due to a major operation I was having, although I returned home immediately all these issues had crushed his sense of security, his world was in a spin and he became confused and disoriented!

At school they believed the bullying situation was resolved immediately, and was more concerned with commenting on how he was forming a type of ‘paranoia’, instigating unusual behaviours that had never occurred before!
They stated a total break-down in communication occurred and felt his behaviour was inappropriate asking he stay home until the issues were resolved.
How can they state “inappropriate” what does that really mean, when all I see is a confused and frightened little boy, trying to find where he fits in.

Concerned with the differing stories and stated behaviour changes at school, I knew we needed immediate assistance; so once again we found help from a paediatrician and child physiologist, where the whole process began again. Attention was focused on stabilising him for school inclusion and settling him back into a normal routine, the way ‘he’ knew it to be.

Although the school tried to show they had a form of understanding, they still gave little acknowledgement to A.J.’s official diagnosis, or recognition to what that meant regarding his individual special needs within the school environment.

This would be the last thing on their mind when facing a child, normal to look at, with no physical signs of problems, knowing he had attended their school for over 4 years with advancements and obvious learning achievements!
How could they imagine what was really going on inside his head!
It’s like facing an invisible illness! You can’t see anything wrong; he has no scars or physical deformities. So how can it be real????
Everything was about to change.
I knew he was different; I saw him as special.
I definitely had frustrations, triumphs, excitements and disappointments, these feelings are expected as a parent.
With all this we never overlooked the importance of -Love, Acceptance, Nurture, Protection, and Understanding!!

Looking at this precious gift, all we see is our special child, handsome, smart, happy, and content in his own environment.
The most basic of items will keep him entertained for hours. So excitable and chatty about the simplest of things and so intent on detail with what he believes to be important to him.
How could we have known exactly what was lurking underneath the surface, barely held together by his so regulated and stable environment, by a tiny strand, a thread that finally broke under the pressure of society when least expected!

Step by step we received another diagnosis, showing what he is faced with:-
Early Developmental/Environmental History Trauma;
Receptive and Expressive Language Disorders;
Pervasive Developmental Disorder- not otherwise specified;
A.D.H.D. (combined type);
Sensory Processing Disorder
Generalised Anxiety Disorder;
Aspergers;
All these were then placed under the banner of “Autism Spectrum Disorder”.
This was to be the official medical recognition for our innocent little boy!

This time I sought out a description and explanation to what all this meant!!
It finally started to make sense, the way he reacted and dealt with things.

Now we wonder how to explain this to anyone; let alone our own family and friends?
People you think would support and understand the most, what it would be like to experience the ups and downs of a child with this disability?
How do you explain the way his Brain works?      Or doesn’t work!
How do you explain to someone that the most basic of nature’s beauty, seen by others as insignificant, can cause day-to-day, minute-to-minute extreme experiences, the most unexplainable, intense feelings, emotions, and heightened senses.
 How the most glorious rays of light beaming colourful hues through the window, sneaking its way onto the desk he’s sitting at can be the most painfully, intimidating and frightening thing he had ever seen!

How the softest of clothing can ‘tear away at his skin’; socks can ‘wrinkle’ his feet; layers of clothing ‘burning him’, the noise of children singing or playing games, calling to each other can cause a drilling type pain he can’t explain.

A visit to the shopping centre with squeaking trolleys, flickering lights, strange smells wafting through the aisles, the hustle and bustle of different people trying to rush past him; all this can be more stressful and painful than anyone could ever imagine or understand.

Don’t be upset if it seems he’s ignoring you, it’s his way of ‘locking out reality’ enabling him to cope with the effects of the sensory overload he experienced from the surrounding environment.

Trying to explain all this to others, in a ‘socially’ acceptable manner, how something so simple, mention-less and un-noticed to us, could be the cause of that major ‘meltdown’ you had just witnessed.
No, he’s not a brat; he can’t have it disciplined out of him!

His brain function doesn’t work the same as ours!
At times it’s been hard for me to understand also, I just know he has no control and can’t help what he does or says; that’s what Autism is!!!!!