The Learning Curve.

So!! Where do we go from here………?

(chapter 5)…

All children are born as a blessing and a gift!

With nurturing, guidance, and encouragement they can grow to find their place in the world.

They are given a choice to learn and develop individual traits

That assists them to gain employment or choose a life path that gives them gratification.

A child on the Autism Spectrum should be allowed this choice also.

Recognition and assistance is needed for all these precious children.

It is not that they cannot do most things;

It’s that they need the assistance and guidance to get there in a different way.

The next step!

I continue writing our true life story with the complexity and simplicity of each single act that is taken within, day by day; as it is lived and interpreted.

Having this chance to tell it, our own way, with the expectations, emotions, frustrations, disappointments, realisations, and understanding into what an Autism diagnosis means to our family, while being able to pass the knowledge and understanding on to others, hopefully helping them to understand and know they’re not alone.

                                   

The misconception others have regarding what Autism is!

Believing it to be a very bland outlook; as a non-verbal, non-responsive, being in a somewhat catatonic state, living life each day not as we know it, just barely existing.

This is so un-true.

Unfortunately having so many variables to this disability will mean there is no standard set of symptoms or noticeable features to clearly categorise any one person.

This can be a blessing and a curse, when trying to gain a diagnosis, or the understanding from others when they view this perfectly featured child!

Nobody really can give a defined answer to why or how it happens.

I’m unsure if our little man’s early neglect had any influence on his final outcome; although there is underlying evidence to the hereditary/genetic connection and it being present before birth.

Some symptoms including the physical aspects and verbal responses such as, lack of focus, unsettled, pacing, distraction, body tics, thrusting rocking movements, clothing (touch) sensitivity, light and sound sensitive, mumbling, sighs, groans, and other unusual noises, all of which mostly he has no conscious knowledge that he is actually doing them.

With the many aspects to deal with on a daily basis including one of the most confusing mood swings, total withdrawals, and the most complex thought pattern you could ever imagine!

Rambling with what he sees as a normal speech flow, gabbling about the most non-comprehensive of conversation topics. Speaking about what he sees as the most important of information, relating to his world the ‘Realm of Fantasy’ as he knows and exists within. 

The refusal at times to accept the importance of being ‘in the moment’ within our real world, believing the true existence of reality is a curse, and the reason for situations he endures on a daily basis, viewing in his mind what he physically and emotionally endures.

I know it’s not his fault; he’s not to blame, although sometimes I still find it hard to deal with, struggling to cope with the many strange comments or the burning glares that look straight through me as though I don’t exist.

I can’t take it personally and mostly I don’t, although when he’s just had the most severe melt-down and is lashing out, the frustration takes over and for that miniscule second I find it hard not to respond in the same way.

I then sit quietly reminding myself of the big picture, although it’s much harder when knowing I have no-one to connect with who truly understands or relates to what we go through on a daily basis!

Being diagnosed with Expressive and Receptive language disorders, our little man tries to cope with the frustration of misinterpretation, while also being unable to show the correct internal and external feelings and emotions, and therefore at times not being understood by those that need to the most.

These feelings and emotions are what cause the meltdowns and panic attacks, taking his focus away and stopping him from doing many things.

Some of the triggers that could cause these and disrupt his unique world can be complex in many ways; although many are the most simplistic of things, that others would consider them as insignificant.

Such a simple thing as a change in routine; doing different  homework; being misunderstood; being overwhelmed; being ignored; clothes that ‘wrinkle’; bugs and insects; crumbs in the wrong place; anything out of place or unusual; taking too long or being rushed to do something.

These can also directly impact on his ability to do his school and homework, limiting the ability to do things he enjoys, like many outside activities.

As with any strange lights or shadowing, when the sun’s rays shine off his desk or table surface, a shining glaring stream of light reflecting directly onto him or nearby. While completely distracting him it is causing what he describes as ‘uneven-ness’ around him, these ‘uneven’ room feelings cause spikes that hurt his eyes.

He is then unable to cope with the hot and cold feelings on the opposite sides of his body, resulting in confusing sensory emotions.

Then with so many strange upsetting sounds, that to most, would pass un-detected he will continually be distracted and affected in ways that he could not explain in words.

Some may think all this is nonsense and with discipline and punishment he can have it forced out of him.

This is never going to happen; it is his body’s chemical make-up!

With assistance we may help to alleviate some symptoms and issues although never remove them totally.

Finding it so hard to describe the uncomfortable overwhelming feelings he would experience while outside his ‘protective world’. One is when he encounters people staring at him.

A.J. has said he can feel the burning stares as they glare at him, overpowering with their direct focus toward him, drilling into his very soul.  

He cannot comprehend that they would just randomly be glancing indirectly at him as they passed by.

Describing this further, an incident occurred when attending a Dr’s appointment, after being removed from class early, totally upsetting his so regimental routine, with the added disappointment of missing his favourite class.

He then had to endure the most horrific feelings due to the stares from the random flow of people passing by, while coming and going during their own journey inside the surgery waiting room

Waiting for over 40 mins, our little man had curled himself into a foetal position, tucked nearly inside the chair for protection, then adding a magazine over his face as a shield, in the hopes of total security from those toxic stares.

When finally attending our appointment, he was then frustrated due to having deal with the ‘waste of time’ discussing total nonsense. Only then to revert into an extreme withdrawal and shutdown as the conversation focused directly toward him, this being something he totally cannot handle.