The Unexpected

The reality is...
(chapter 7)... 
Having to face a life existing of paediatricians appointments, child physiologist assessments, medical reviews, occupational therapies, and other repetitive testings, it would at times become very draining for all of us.

I can totally understand how A.J. would prefer to retreat into ‘his world’!

Sometimes I wish I had an escape myself!   

Unfortunately this was never going to happen.

A new day, new set of priorities, new targets to achieve; and so it goes on!

As most days the priority was School, the target being a settled, progressive day with the focus on achieving a high rate of finished work!

Calm, settled, no triggers, with focus on his routine; anything can distract or upset this tightly scheduled process. A whisper in the wrong direction can squeal through his silence and deafen him, disturbing the balance needed and then he starts pacing around the class room.

This, becoming the self-soothing process needed to settle him back into the harmony required to have him get through the day.

Being able to express his feelings and emotions is very difficult for A.J. knowing the exact word or phrase to express the true meaning of what he wants to say.

Unknowingly he can be constantly misinterpreted by others.

An example of this occurred recently at school when a student began taunting him with silly, nasty words that most children would ignore, A.J. found confusing emotions built up inside him, a form of paranoia set in, he felt that they were all out to get him. He couldn't understand or explain it properly so he bottled it inside, until bang, he had finally released with a verbal explosion of words, while by himself, so he thought.

A teacher hearing this outburst asked A.J. what was wrong, he tried to explain what had happened and then when asked why he didn’t talk to a teacher when the incident occurred, he replied with………. “Well you wouldn't have ‘killed’ him anyway”

Immediately they were horrified with his response!

What he had meant to say was…………………”you wouldn't ‘stop’ him”!

He was disciplined for his ‘outburst’ and his ‘response’; although we believe there was never any follow through with the other child regarding the initial incident, just a comment stating the incident was dealt with, no follow-up required!!!!!!

A.J. thrives on any form of  knowledge in general, especially when he is able to focus and keep control, he is very talented and gifted with his level of academic ability, and actually can and does enjoy the experience of learning, although his overpowering senses can cause conflicting emotions, then he becomes confused and frustrated.

This causes a distraction which stops the so finely tuned process needed to keep him on task with his educational journey, as with all aspects of his life.

As enjoyable as the learning process is he cannot understand the meaning of Homework and his frustration with this may cause the most extreme mood swings. He will become distressed and questions the reasons, stating- ‘They know I can do it so why ask me to do this at home?’ or ‘If they don’t know the answers why do they expect me to do it for them?’   

When A.J. is asked to do some extra homework or an assignment taking longer time than normally expected, this will then become an issue due to not being in his usual scheduled routine, as his sub-conscious knows it to be.

A.J. can only view in his mind, that he would normally be playing the Sony or DS, then to him the work makes him……… ‘Bored’!

When asked to expand on his feelings he will respond with:

“I feel ‘dead’ and ‘pathetic’ in the middle of no-where”!

That is simply his explanation of the word…… ‘Boring’!

There are no underlying issues; there is no hidden agenda; there is no need to have it pursued by his psychologists; A.J. has just expressed himself with the wrong Words!    

That’s it, end of story!!!!

Well actually; it’s not the end of the story; this is just one example of the never-ending issues that we deal with day-in and day-out!

Another day of uncertainty, struggling with his emotions, this can be frustrating, he’s locked himself away from reality again, it’s too hard to deal with today for some reason, so he’s lashing out; I guess I happen to be closest, so it’s my turn to reap the front line attack.

Today I’m directly the cause of reality ‘cursing’ and ‘burning’ him!

At least I try to understand; with a lot of patience and a little coercion I can finally enter his world to retrieve him and communicate to comprehend what the main reason behind the melt-down was; for today at least.

Tomorrow is another day.

Again we have taken the plunge towards learning programs and educational aids to help focus in day-to-day living, we have been given access to a learning format for A.J. using an informative writing process, called Social Stories to hopefully benefit in gaining some normality to his very intense, complexly set-out, never fully understanding lifestyle.

With this process using visual targets he is faced with a single situation, acknowledging it, learning how to best deal with it to gain an understanding for a positive ending to each situation.

Written as a short story with A.J. as the character, we hope with repetitive reading and discussing the issue he will better understanding how to deal with it in an acceptable way!

Maybe these stories should be given to some of these naïve people, to give them some insight and see if they actually………get it!!!!!

We also had a short breakthrough in the sporting agenda with A.J. agreeing to check out a local Karate group’s training session.

After receiving positive feedback to martial arts being great for kids with Autism, we reviewed all the clubs in the local area and found one that seemed to be suitable to A.J.’s needs. Booking him in to view a lesson and hopefully gain a good response to how he may react to the sessions.

Today is the day; from the time we arrived he was wide-eyed with amazement, watching some of the movements then look at me unable to verbally respond, the smile on his face said it all.

Then suddenly the kids yelled out with their verbal training response. I was unsure how this was going to play out, as I looked over at A.J. maybe this won’t work out after all! His tense little body flinched and curled inward, as I glanced over I saw a few tears trickling down his cheek. 

I whispered to him, “Are you ok?” A.J.’s response was “I’m not crying my eyes just got wet!”

That was his answer; he couldn't wait for his first lesson to begin!

The week went by so quickly, A.J. rushed out the door for his first lesson. A smile covered his whole face, picking up each move as though he had been learning for months, then the noise, what would happen? With each sound he flinched and held, then called out too it was amazing! He has finally found his outlet, we were so proud!

A.J. wrote the description of his lessons in his journal,

“I walk in, prepared for training, with power running through my veins”.

“I feel fit and strong, sometimes I’m a little worn out at the end!”

“I’m amazed that I can so easily understand exactly the words my teacher says in Japanese…………… unsettling!!!!!! “

Step by step; day by day; issue after issue; the ups and downs, they still continue, although the load is becoming lighter as I continue to gain knowledge and encounter more understanding.

The journey towards his new-found sporting venture definitely was enlightening, although after 2 terms, an injury to his hand (unrelated) and after treatment he refuses to return to lessons.

Yes we still have melt-down moments, although these new learning tools definitely give me the extra edge, aiding in knowing how to help him to stop, think and focus!