Coping with Change......

Coping with change……

Our precious children struggle to cope with change, no matter how simple or extreme.

I have noted in a post highlighting the issues within the school environment.  https://sites.google.com/site/lithgownannastouch/lithgow-support-group/4--transitions-changes

Issues can also occur in the home, while changes may be a little more subtle these issues can still have a major impact for them.

It could be caused by a simple loss of an item; just recently A.J.’s android tablet was damaged unable to be fixed, this was for some time now his sole existence, especially during high anxiety or sensory moments needing to self-regulate his emotions, he would sink into his alternate world, calming him.

Now the journey begins to find a replacement.

It is also a pair of shoes, sandals that were his favourite for comfort and whatever simple reason he felt was important.

For many years A.J. has had to cope with sensitivity to fabrics and other material forms, especially his shoes and socks. At school he would remove these during class-time helping him relax and regulate to maintain focus on his schoolwork. Having to replace them at recess and lunch for outdoor activities, he would only replace his shoes stating the socks scratch and burn him; resulting in bags of socks being returned home every week or so when the growing piles had been noticed by the teacher.

 It took some time to source a brand of socks without the toe seams that irritate him and the correct blend of fabric to have him feel comfortable.

Another strange sensory moment, the effects regarding different temperatures; when in the middle of summer and almost heatwave conditions, A.J. will resort to donning a fluffy mink-like dressing-gown. Regardless of how many ways we try to convince him of our concerns to how unsuitable it is in the hot weather, even of a morning after finally dressing in day clothes he will place the gown on; obviously he is getting some form of positive sensory sensation and a type of security benefit.

A.J. has used the same type of everyday drink bottle for some time at school, now using it at home I felt I’d best gain a surplus stock and, yes, you guessed it, they are no longer available, as the newest form of pull-up lid has changed its design and also the shape and grip of the actual bottle is different, so naturally the result as most will understand, is not good.

The other day we went to visit my youngest son and his new wife, we had gathered a few friends together, including my hubby and A.J. to help them de-clutter their home of additional items gained after our daughter-in-law’s mum passed away.

We began by clearing out the front room where a lot of things had been piling up, while A.J. happily collected the garbage bags and carried them into the front yard ready for the op-shop or dump run, happily rechecking each bag in-case of the chance to find any little treasures that he may take a liking to.

Suddenly as he came in for the next load he looked around and stopped in his tracks realising the room was empty. Knowing how the room should be set out, that is all it took, a simple action as we see it, by changing everything as it should be, then the pacing and confusion set in.

These are the moments that so many cannot understand, simple to most, although dramatic and almost tragic to our little ones.

The Little Things……

Setting out the daily routine, allowing time for change, displaying visuals for anything in-depth that A.J. needs help with, and simple reminders for those he has been able to handle and maintain.

Since starting highschool we were able to access the teachers/visitors parking area for drop-off and pick-ups, although I explained to A.J. this would be an interim situation to help settle into routine.

After a few weeks we starting with the morning drop-offs in the correct area, later we took the steps of arranging pick-up outside the school gates. 

To see the lay-out of the school, we drive uphill then into the grounds, an enormous area is set-out inside the gates with a large turning circle for the buses and cars to enter and exit, with the pathway leading into the school being reasonably steep, therefore leaving the grounds on an uphill climb.

I knew A.J. wouldn't be too impressed with this as he isn't very active in any manner other than his trampoline or short flat-ground walks. So I wasn't surprised when he informed me in no uncertain terms that - "I'm not ever doing that again!"

Of course he was horrified when my response was - "you have another 6 years to go yet" 

Hoping the extra exercise may be beneficial in the sleep department.

Today we discussed timetable changes due to school photos being done; I could sense the tension and concern. Then the pacing and self-regulating began even before he was ready to leave for school, so it wasn't a surprise when shortly after his recess break I received a call from his aide to say he felt tired and requested to go home early. We both agreed it was a good idea, being informed how well he had maintained his calm while she distracted him during the noise and confusion in the hall where the photos were being taken.

I am so proud of his progress today, having attempted to handle the situation and the calm manner of requesting time-out in his support room after the mayhem and then suggesting he may need to go home, rather than exploding into a meltdown that we all would try to decipher, well done A.J.