High Expectations……

Do not STARE at me because I am different
......LOOK at me as a person,
Do not JUDGE me if you don't know me
.....SPEAK to me and learn about who I am,
Do not CRITICISE what you do not know
EDUCATE yourself to the differences of others.

How is it, that society has such high expectations for ‘children’ in general?

Adults can have a “moment”, an “Off day” or “temper-tantrum”, as such, when things don’t go their way, yet a child, any child, still coming to terms with the continual changes within themselves, and the environment around them, are required to be perfect reflections of their adult counterpart’s expectations.

Then when adding to the mix, those little quirky mannerisms our special little one’s can display when expressing themselves, uncontrollable and unexpectedly, many on the outside are shocked and horrified by the display of what they say is ‘unsatisfactory behaviour’.

Our child has Aspergers, what is now acknowledged medically as Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Described simply as being ‘academically advanced’ although ‘socially delayed’

He also has, what is medically stated as ‘Co-Morbid’ conditions, these include:-

Early Developmental/Environmental History Trauma;

Receptive and Expressive Language Disorders;

A.D.H.D. (combined type);

Sensory Processing Disorder

Generalised Anxiety Disorder

To view him initially, you see a “normal” child, physically beautiful, verbal, and active.
What most don’t see are the effects caused by the conditions, including environmental unbalance, these physical reactions are what others don’t expect of a child they are viewing.

They can’t comprehend one child having this varied range of ability, as well as disability, finding it easier to accept that it is a ‘behavioural issue’ refusing to recognise it as the outcome of an ‘actual’ diagnosed disability.

The fact is, he does not do these things purposely, he has no control, and this is being ignored, as some simply believe that he ‘can’ stop, and he ‘chooses’ not to.

These children are so special and deserve the right to live as normal a life as possible!

All too often the stories told to me reflect the same outcome……………

The isolation and despair experienced repeatedly day-to-week-to-month and so on……

Anxiety by the parent, unsure where they can go publicly without fear of ridicule, sneers, huffs, and comments, by others that don’t understand the issues ASD families face!!

No-one seems to understand or want to help; so many families live a basically isolated existence shutting off from outside contact to avoid the stares and glances, or having to explain why he/she acts ‘immaturely’ or differently to their peers.

How can others tell from one isolated melt-down/incident that these children are BRATS needing to be disciplined, and yet there are some that inadvertently without a hesitation step in with their ‘opinions’ and ‘comments’, belittling every effort taken to get to where they are, to actually attempt this venture in the public sector to begin with was such a great feat and one simple action could regress months of therapy assistance and practice.

Regardless ……………..we will hold our heads high……

I do sometimes chuckle when placed in that precise situation……for example- in the middle of a shopping centre, when all of a sudden A.J. would either, begin pacing around me, start gabbling really fast in his non-comprehendable language, or become over-emotional trying to coheres me to leave quickly due to his over-sensitivities, then all of a sudden someone will try to point out to me in an informative ‘matter-of-fact’ manner…….

“Do you realise your child is doing……?”, as though I didn’t know and they were doing me a favour by noticing it.

I just smile and say “YES”, I then quietly reply, “ it’s ok my child has Autism and the actions you see are brought on by sensory sensitivity, stimulated by the environment I have brought him into, in the hopes that the experience will help him learn to accept” …

…leaving them unsure how to respond…

………………..we will walk away smiling knowing WE ARE THE BETTER PERSON!!!!

   Yes all too often we have to move on for the benefit of our own sanity, although the looks on their face after that is definitely priceless.

After saying all that I am hopeful that as publicly more people are becoming aware to the mannerisms and existence of Autism in its varying forms, we can also become more accepting and willing to acknowledge these ‘behaviours’ for what they are; accepting also that these children/adults have a lot to give to society in general if given a chance.