the winter season cleanup.......

the start of the garden clean-up...

The winter weather has taken over and our home feels as though we’re in the freezer’s control centre and the family in a ‘go-slow-zone’.

A.J. in true form has gone into hibernation mode, winter has never been a good time for him sensory wise; and I too must admit that I seemed to have lost all sense of purpose, with my thought process going haywire.

With only two more weeks before the next allotted school break I am hoping to gain time to give A.J. a little get-away treat; and also trying hard to focus on the latest research material for our kid’s social club I am hoping to establish.

It has been a very difficult time lately due to the losses we have faced, a family relative, a long-time friend, and our beloved special family member/pet dog Tess.

These moments allow us time to reflect, as A.J. so bluntly puts it “we are not immortal”

It frightens me sometimes when I realise how simply and easily life can be taken away.

Then to ask ourselves the question……“did I do enough, is there more I can give before my time comes to an end”.

Over-run with emotions and a foggy thought process I ponder what faces us next.

To try and clear the emotional haze from around us all, I decided to set in motion a distraction with the start of clearing out the clutter and overgrowth from our yard, beginning in the front of the house and our overgrown rockery that depicts the front area.

With a little assistance from my youngest son and the elder grandsons, Poppy gathered them together to remove the weeds, overgrown grass, shrubs, runner plants and camellia trees. Slowly they clear out the area to find the bush rock and pavers that form the garden’s boundary, and so the quest begins. Now to research for the right ground cover, woodchip or pebbles and new shrubs; this will be fun.

A.J.’s involvement was very minimal in this experience, as the outdoors is not what he perceives to be entertaining in any way, especially now our little fox-terrier is not bounding around to entertain him. Instead he has bundled himself up in his room cuddling his iPad with his favourite game of the month, although with a little coercion and a little bribery we did bring him outside to catch a few of the much needed ‘rays’ of sunshine, if only for a little while.

I will not give in to the demands or ‘puppy eyes’ attempts by A.J. to stay where he perceives as being in his “safety zone”, no matter what he must realise that there are always going to be times and things in life that he doesn’t want to face, although allowing him to ignore these issues is in a way neglecting his developmental progress.

I will not be here for him forever; he will eventually have to step out on his own, learning now that he can face his fears and demons and come out the other end in-tact, will be strengthening to him and comforting to me.