The things that others on the outside looking in cannot or refuse to understand.

"Cyclone Twins" in full force 

After a couple of weeks with miserable, windy, drizzly weather we woke today to view the frost laden grounds and a thick fog layered through the crevices of our valley floor. Beautiful to see as the sun begins to rise and slowly melt away the frozen icicle droplets that had so perfectly formed on the downpipes and gutter cornices.

As I head towards the chilly zones of the bathroom for my morning shower I hesitate and wrap my dressing-gown tighter and choose the option of my morning cuppa tea instead.

I peer in on A.J. to find him still snuggly wrapped in his doona with his pillows strategically placed to cocoon him in his bed; peacefully dreaming of an alternate universe where all is as he wishes it to be.

I gently wake him to begin his morning routine only to have him inform me that he needs more sleep as the weekend’s adventures had resulted in him having his precisely arranged weekend routine ruined and not gaining enough sleep, therefore he needed to catch up.

The weekend had seen us entertaining his two young cousins aged 5 + 6 for a sleep-over while their parents had an evening out. We have aptly named the pair of terrors “The Cyclone Twins”, as although they are 13 months apart they are similarly featured and may easily be mistaken for the other, as we often do, to the dismay from the pair. Their routine consists of everything done at full speed pace, and will fight till the bitter end at the thought of sleep or stillness until their bodies can take no more.

The anxiety that A.J. will endure while just watching the antics of these little rascals can become overwhelming to him, and he will struggle with the invasion, no matter how hard he tries, and will then take a little time to readjust afterwards.

This time he had even gone as far as to set up his Sony Playstation to allow them something to play, overall they were doing well, although the noises and general hurriedness caused the sensory overload for A.J. and then his emotional imbalance was more than he could handle while protecting his possessions from their wild and energetic antics, later after finding the kids needed warmer nightwear, I decide to rummage through some of A.J.’s outgrown clothing I had bundled ready for the op shop. When A.J. realised the clothing was his he couldn’t contain himself and became overcome with an unexplainable mixture of emotions, from there it just crumbled into mayhem, I had never seen this from him before, although understanding the reason for his need of holding on to all that he owns, from the losses he has faced, it was understandable.

This year in general has come along fairly well, after the highs and lows we have faced seeming more like a roller coaster ride rather than a road trip into the hills, it was nice to see us facing a smoother sailing ride for a change.

As A.J. gets older we are also faced with the teen hormonal emotions that are entwined in with his Aspergers traits and displayed as his own personal tug-of-war power struggle (as such); something that he is finding hard to cope with or understand, let alone everyone else around him.

Although A.J.’s general daily emotions are becoming more controlled and settled, we are noticing a lot more autistic traits with the effects of his stimming being more evident, general flapping, finger chewing, mumbling speed chatter, pacing…lots of pacing, all done to stabilise himself, as though he is using these rituals to assure his so finely tuned routine is covered and everything is set out for the day ahead.