special moments and new experiences.

A.J. and little Laura bonding together 

As we begin closing in on the holiday season and our end of year break, most parents will agree at this time of year things can become a little frazzled and draining.

With everything we've been through over the past few years I myself am definitely showing the signs of needing a real break, and I'm looking forward to some down-time.

A.J. has already informed me everything is “boring” at the moment and he needs a new hobby/distraction. Unfortunately what that may be is a mystery to him as well as me.

This year, overall, has been a lot easier than previously, especially with the smooth sailing process in high school, being a lot more manageable than we first anticipated; although we noticed A.J. did experience a few emotional moments and confusion when new and different situations occurred.

Saying that, he has surprised me with his calm and responsible manner when confronting most issues, and finding ways to deal with them without allowing the meltdowns he constantly may face to take control.

A.J. came to me the other week, asking “when will we see Tracy again”(his psychologist)

I replied “next week, Why?”

A.J.- “oh, I think I'd like to talk to her”

A.J.'s psychologist specialises in support for ASD and special needs children and their families; I occasionally go alone to discuss reports or issues without A.J. stressing.

So with his comment I immediately arranged to take him along.

On arrival we sat down and A.J. explained why he was attending, beginning with how he was happy at school this year, the new friends he had made, with everyone nice and kind. He also showed her games he plays, plus drawings and story-writing he has been doing.

He continued by stating he still has moments when he feels sad but doesn't know why, and this includes when he is eating.

As A.J. in the past had never experienced the 'want' for a great dietary consumption, regarding variation or quantity, yet this year he changed, possibly due to hormonal changes, showing a, interest to try new food groups and varying amounts. He still doesn't really eat anything at school, although at home he is increasing to a pleasing amount.

He explained how he wants to eat and feels hungry, but when the food is in front of him he doesn't want to eat it, and he's not sure if it's the food itself or his lack of appetite that makes him feel sad.

Tracy explained to A.J. that his hormonal changes, the new experiences of eating, and other factors, possibly has something to do with his mixed emotions; she then explained ways to try and make food an enjoyable experience.

A.J. happily chatted away on the trip home about things he could do and ideas he would like to try to help stabilise his emotions.

One idea we had suggested to A.J. was to find a new hobby, so we focused around learning to play the guitar, especially as it will be his school's music option for next year, allowing him a head start to comfortably begin without the stress or anxiety caused when facing a new or changing routine.

I'll now prepare to gain everything for a start during the holiday break, including a tutor.

This moment has given me a gentle reminder to still be aware of what A.J. may be experiencing, although he is becoming older and a little more independent, he is still struggling with certain concepts and needs a little assistance and support.

Being able to keep a continual line of communication open, no matter what format that may be, is still as important now through their teenage years as it was when they were only toddlers.

A new experience we have been enjoying is our newest family member.

'Puppy-time' as fun as it has been, can also take it out of us at times, mainly as our little Laura was only 5 weeks old when she arrived, we were informed her mum stopped feeding the pups at 4 weeks old, so they presumed it to be ok to pass them all on to their forever homes a little early. I became her full-on surrogate mum and the one to settle her down, although she has now connected with everyone and definitely needs “special time” from each of us, A.J. is gaining special moments with her helping to strengthen their bond.

Learning the rules of the house is going well, while still waking up about 12am, something I'm teaching is NOT her playtime; she's all but toilet trained, only a few misses when the door doesn't open in time. I will have to get chook wire for our raised vege garden beds as she thinks it's fun to help mummy dig.
We go for drives to drop A.J. off at school, then cries all the way home, at pick up time the excitement of seeing A.J. is adorable to watch, and yes she is fully buckled in the backseat, she wasn't impressed at first although she's learning to accept that too. She is also spoilt with blankies and bedding everywhere, allowing her comfort when near us, which is all the time. Overall she's settling in quite nicely.

The transition has made us all realise how much time and responsibility it takes to care for a little baby puppy.

With these few changes, A.J.'s coping well knowing he has the ability to retreat to the safety of his room when things become too much and overwhelming, with a barricade to stop little Laura entering when he needs some time-out from her over-active moments as well.

I am now watching the two terrors in the back-yard, A.J. and Laura bonding together.

Happily rolling in the grass, both in the moment, being kids, not a care in the world.