As a result
of the whole ‘big picture’ that our family personally entails, with my needing
to be the one consistently holding the reigns, managing any Autism-related
appointments, trying to juggle any household issues and family time, along with
work related time, and so much more.
I had to
learn how to let things go and not control ‘everything’, to enjoy every
experience, regardless, without the worry and stress that things may not go to
plan.
This can be
more difficult to handle without any true friends or family to connect with and
vent about anything, to be able to talk things out and gain perspective on
issues as they arise.
Family
should be the sounding block and support when different types of issues present
themselves within the family network; unfortunately all too often with many
families, they can’t comprehend the enormity of this lifestyle; sometimes we
tend not to burden others with the continual highs and lows we endure; or other
family/friends just choose to believe we are over-exaggerating issues to gain
attention so veer away from involvement giving little to no support.
With the
few close friends left, they too struggle with the total concept, or feel they should
help by volunteering well-meaning out there theories, believing it may just be
all too much for us.
Some have
practiced on our not-so-ready A.J. believing that a “throw him in the deep end”
scenario should work with their encouragement; not understanding the concept of
his sensory issues they will insist he be compliant to any suggestions.
When he
becomes so overwhelmed by the confusion of the differing concepts, he ends up
in a total melt-down, the well-meaning friend will assert authority demanding
he pay attention and listen to their ideas, causing him to retreat even more, I
then have to intervene and remove A.J. from the area to stop the escalation.
With a feeling
of being forced in the middle of these issues trying to keep all parties happy
and then feeling guilty regarding the aftermath when things don’t flow smoothly
and ending differently to what they thought it would.
Focusing on
the positive, knowing that they did want to help, and be there for us
regardless.
I respond with–
“I appreciate your support, although these things are best left up to us”.
With this
overview to where we have come I sit and smile, just a little, while reminding
myself that I too was once there. Unaware, unknowing, looking for direction,
understanding and answers to all that has now become our life. Staying strong
and positive, I look at everything in a good light, even when the tension of
school and other aspects have me anxious and fearful of what may be in store, hoping
for the best outcome.
Many of you
will relate to this scenario and acknowledge being a parent is a long term commitment
being there 100% for our children; although we do have to remember we must make
time for ourselves first, our personal health and wellbeing is a priority, if
only for short time-out moments we still need to regenerate and re-focus our
emotional and physical being.
We have
previously touched on the subject of ‘Coping with Stress’ within the family, please
check the link…. And find some ideas and ways to help de-stress and gain that
break you need…
……we will be sharing more ideas and helpful hints
later… Happiness and Calm to all xxxx
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