finding the perfect outings....

A.J. loves the historical significance
these displays show

Choosing a little time-out excitement during the holiday break, we decided to find some local sites for a tourist's view of what we have on offer....

Before we could decide on the first venue, the weather had other ideas, so we found ourselves locked inside as the wind and chilly days take over the little amount of sunshine we get.

After a few days pass the sun sneaks in just long enough to tease us into a false perception that the spring season might finally be here, when the weather changes yet again and takes hold with drizzly rain for yet another few days.

So now A.J. has settled in his room with the latest electronic game and needs to be coerced out for a break and a snack. As most would know it's easy to see our kids become fixated to extremes on the latest trend or obsession they've discovered.

As with any child this seems to be more-so in the form of technology.

So anything we can find to distract them from the dreaded screen has to be a plus.

Progress......

a rare pic of me, taken while assisting the kids at our Open day 

Coming to the end of yet another school term I am still over-the-moon with how well A.J. has handled facing the many changes and new experiences that high school life has placed before him.

I am so proud of how he has maintained self-control, with a willingness to be open and try new things.

To think that only 12 months ago we were facing daily meltdowns and repeated phone calls from his primary school requesting he go home as they couldn't (or wouldn't) handle his “outbursts”.

Understanding now how those outbursts were more a cry for help as those around him refused to accept his diagnosis and were treating him as a disobedient child needing to be 'punished', when in reality he was fading away from those who were actually exacerbating his condition.

'Helping' our kids manage Meltdowns and Sensory Sensitivities.

A.J. -remembering back
and always staying positive

When people view our little one's Meltdowns they are quick to label them as 'Tantrums' and being 'Brats', believing we should find ways to discipline their behaviour.

The first thing I like to say and acknowledge is that “Punishment does not produce Learning”

In general, the notion of a punishment is used as a technique to reinforce specific learning, with the expectation that there are consequences to what is seen as “Logical” bad behaviour, due to the teacher/parent/person believing that a rule has been broken.

Although in reality a 'meltdown' is the child reacting to the “Natural” forces of nature and an uncontrollable physical action/reaction by their body in relation to unknown sensory sensitivities.

Therefore the outcome of any punishment will be additional confusion to the child, knowing they have not “intentionally” acted in a negative or disobedient way.

Coping with "Invisible Illnesses"

A.J. and Poppy together at the park

As I was preparing the finishing touches to my latest blog post, I was side swiped with another issue that needed to be addressed first.

Our grandson has yet again faced the inhumane behaviour of others, too hell bent on gaining laughs and self-gratification from other's misfortunes.

After posting this quick comment onto our Facebook page, I was taken aback thinking about the enormity of this type of issue.

Understanding the Neurology and Social Construction of our kids

A.J. after receiving his new prescription glasses,
so intent on describing all the finer detail
of what he now can see around him 

When we become a parent, being a mere 'Neurotypical', to an Autistic or special needs child, we slowly realise what they encounter in everyday life due to their differences, while facing situations that others will take for granted as being simple common-sense actions behaviours and mannerisms.

To understand how the neurology of any child can differ is one thing, although to realise what that means for our special kids (and ASD adults) is another.

Knowing how they may struggle socially with basic concepts, and situations relating to specific social cues and complex social situations; struggling with the concept of 'Idioms' and hidden meanings within words and conversations, and how this will

“I am really confused!” What is your preference and does it 'really' matter.

Firstly before I address this very touchy topic, I would like to acknowledge and confirm that I am stating this topic on a purely need-to-know and understand basis;

I have not done so to insult, target, or degrade anyone in any way, and if anyone may feel I have done so, then I apologise as that was not my intention.

I now know, as so many state, “I am a Neurotypical”,

and then I will follow by saying, - with an “Autistic grandson”;

although I have also stated, “I have a grandson with Autism”,

-or Autism Spectrum Disorder, and other diagnosed 'labels' i.e.- “Aspie”.

Yes at the end of the day these are all definitions of society's stated LABELS!

Acceptance, Understanding and Expectations for our child.

A.J. finding the simplest of things to enjoy

Understanding the complexities of our special man can be one thing, coping with the differences at the 'time' of a meltdown or anxiety attack, and then the confusion that follow, is another.

We definitely do sympathise with our kiddies and totally get their mannerisms and behaviour, but that doesn't make us immune emotionally from the aftermath; and 'that' does NOT give anyone else the right to assume to understand, judging us or our child.

They are not living our lives 100% and therefore cannot determine from a single moment or an isolated situation in time how the full events of a single day/week/month can play out.

Understanding how the smallest of details and the littlest thing can upset the harmonious balance they so need and require internally and environmentally,