having a 'want' to learn and an acceptance to continue can be found in us all if we try

both come from unique experiences,
we all need to embrace them to truly understand

One thing I've learnt along this journey regarding Autistic and special needs kids is their inability to possess the “Filtering System” needed to automatically decipher what is important and what can be discarded, relating to Sensory input such as lighting, noises, smells, textures, tastes, and more.

Soaking in everything around them this can be the cause of many overload and meltdown moments as they struggle to understand and cope with the bombardment of data input that continually swamps their sensitive nerve endings and emotional being.

For A.J. from the day he came into our full-time care at almost 3; long before we knew of his diagnosis or any understanding of his differences; his physical being was totally highly strung and emotionally wired.

He was struggling with so many areas of learning so we would sit him down and help him with the things he had been deprived from learning, and what I thought he would be able to take in.

The more we did together the more A.J. wanted to know. He was like a sponge, soaking up every last drop of knowledge and then seeking out more, so I kept feeding his need.

Now at 13 years of age this still continues and has become an obsession in itself.

Asking questions, needing answers, and then wanting more results.

I am continually blown away daily with the things he knows and the explanations and descriptions he will relay with his chosen 'Topic of the Day'.

Now he is searching for the one thing only he can find........”Why do we seek knowledge?”

I asked him one day to try and write down, 'in his own words', how he feels about that question, how he feels about himself, and how he feels about Autism and his other diagnoses!

His response to me at that time was (as I knew it would be).......

“Oh, no, that won't be happening, I can't write things down, it is too complicated to get it right!”

A.J. struggles with 'written context' and translating his verbal thought into written dialect; although we can sit and talk for hours on end on a single specific topic, while I am continually amazed by the knowledge he portrays, to the point my brain hurts from the consistent flow of gabble, so I will ask he take a breath as I collect my thoughts before he continues his bombardment of knowledge upon me.

A few days ago while he was at school I was surprised to receive his email.

Receiving a message itself is not unusual as he can regularly send me a few lines as a question, request, or comment, of something he has thought about and needed to relay to me before he forgot; although this time it was different, this was a shining moment as I opened the message to see a continual flow of written words that streamed on as I scrolled further down the page.

This was a full almost novel version of his feelings, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs for the future, and the understanding of himself.

…....SO DEEP.........

The words in front of me are so profound for a child of his years, taking a while to absorb and decipher his expression with the depth of his understanding, clarity of belief, and so much more, having him more in-tune with the greatness of knowledge far beyond his years.

The ability to express what he had just written has taken my breath away,

........and now all I can say is.......SO DEEP!!! WOW!!!

…....I have been given permission to share a portion of his deeper inner thoughts with you.....

Confucius once said...”everything is simple, but people intend to make it complicated.”

…....This is an extreme in-pass, I have figured out, that there are no shortcuts, suitable substitutions, or other background knowledge, or plan, to scientifically have the answer to the question I have, for the highest knowledge......

I am at a young age, and I have been able to figure out a reasonable solution to every one of my everyday problems, so I will have years to find out, understand, as well as have the knowledge, and use it for the greater good.........

…...I am figuring out all problems and mistaken thoughts to be solved, so I can have enough time for a new bright future of solution and knowledge......

As you can see by the comment stated before you A.J. definitely has a very complex mind; although the true 'understanding' that he may have to all of this and other specific discussion topics continually being relayed to us, may be more limited than what it initially can sound to be.

I am not diminishing his ability in any way although the reality is still what it is, and this is definitely displayed when we ask A.J. to try and re-word and re-describe his version of understanding and expression.

His photographic memory will definitely assist him to repeat information, word-for-word, as he has read and learnt it, and without the “filtering System” to be able to sift through all that information he is becoming a walking encyclopaedia of knowledge quickly retrieving the information as we discuss each topic.

Although the reality is what it is, he cannot comprehend the difference between fact and fiction, real and imaginary, regarding all the data as input and when blending all the information and then trying to retrieve it as correlated output, the concept is lost to him and he believes it all to be true “as it is” fact, and that fact word-for-word cannot be changed.

This then can be frustrating when trying to explain the concept of deciphering what is important and what is obsolete and rewording in his understanding of the knowledge to set out for his school assignments and projects.

This then becomes a daily struggle as we attempt to assist him with his much needed homework and assessment tasks, something that he must complete as part of his educational requirements.

Understanding that to attempt the work and hand in what he can gather, and accept it as his completed work, is another struggle he faces, when he is never satisfied with what is completed in front of him as his finished work.

His description of …..... ”....if they got the words right when I find them off the internet, then why do I have to change it, it's already perfect......”